Shawn: Welcome everyone. My guest today is Antonia Medeiros. Antonia is an executive life coach, a speaker, an author, and a facilitator. For the past six years, Antonia has been focused on supporting individuals and organizations with living happier and more fulfilling lives and exploring with them what it means to be a leader. She has developed a unique expertise in women's empowerment and gender alliance, supporting men, women, and the companies who hire them to shift the way we think about women and partnering. 

Antonia is passionate about her work and was voted one of the top life coaches in Victoria in 2022 by Influence Digest and one of the top empowerment coaches in 2023 by the Coach Foundation. Antonia is also a board member for Lalmba Canada, a charity supporting students to access education in Kenya and for whom she walked 265 kilometers last November to raise money and awareness. It's been a year. She is currently spearheading a project to help girls access high school as equally as boys, specifically by providing period products and access to contraception. She is also writing a book on guiding women through the transformations of midlife and why this is, for men and for women, the true revolution we have been waiting for. 

When she is not working and advocating, she runs, travels, and reads, all with good friends, while trying to survive with humor, parenting hormonal teenagers. Welcome, Antonia. That seems like a lot. Can you start by telling us how you got into this? What made you start? 

Antonia Medeiros: It was an interesting evolution for me. I like to say that my career was really around building stories and writing stories. I worked as a journalist, I worked in communications and in PR, and a lot of my craft was around writing and capturing stories. I was always very good with people; people seemed to be comfortable telling me stories from a very young age. 

All that combined with time, and as I evolved, I became a mother also. I wrote a book while I was on maternity leave, so again a lot of storytelling and story capturing. I think coaching became a very natural evolution because that was a space in which I could help people build their life stories. I could build the next chapter of their lives with them and what that looked like, and that journey we are all in as human beings. 

Sometimes we need people to come in on that journey and help them get to the next steps, especially when we are stalling. Coaching had all of those pieces together. It was about stories, it was about people, it was about connection, and it was about empowering others, which is, I think, everything I have always done in different ways through my career. 

Shawn: It kind of amalgamated then what you had done. 

Antonia Medeiros: Exactly. 

Shawn: Neat. Because this podcast deals a lot with regulation and compliance, either government regulation or voluntary, I am curious about that. Being a certified coach too, I am curious what level of regulation there is. Is there any government body that regulates life coaches, or are there any standards that you adhere to or that you voluntarily adhere to that you could tell us about? 

Antonia Medeiros: Coaching is a very interesting profession. It is very trendy these days; in the past 20 years we have seen an extraordinary surge of coaching and of coaches everywhere. They are everywhere, and everybody is a coach, and that has pros and cons. I think the positive thing is that there are more and more people that want to help other people, and I think that is a very healthy thing. 

I think there are enough people for everybody to pitch in, whether you are a coach, whether you are a therapist, and there are all sorts of new professions that we are seeing in the field of helping others. That is very positive. When it comes to coaching, a lot of coaches out there are not always certified. I think a lot of people call themselves coaches but do not necessarily have the training. 

The organization that regulates everything to do with coaches, whether you are a business coach, a life coach, or whatever kind of coach you are, is the International Coaching Federation. They are really the one that sets the regulations. They are also the ones that validate the trainings that coaches go through to become coaches, so they are a very important entity for us coaches. 

The ICF has established a code of ethics that as professional coaches we have to adhere to, and there is a series of regulations and ethics we have to follow to make sure that we do our job well and that we respect confidentiality. Now it is up to us to follow them or not; for sure the ICF is not always behind us. But I think that if we want to be professionals and we want to be recognized as professionals, it is essential for us to follow that code of ethics. 

That code of ethics is available on their website. The ICF also provides three levels of certification based on your seniority and the amount of hours that you have done coaching, and they also check you on a regular basis to make sure that you are up to date with your practices and how you connect with your clients. That is really the body that regulates us all. 

But I can tell you that there are many coaches who call themselves coaches who do not necessarily have an ICF-recognized training and who just do not always do things the way they are supposed to be done. That is unfortunate because I think it sometimes gives a bad reputation to coaches. I think coaches have an extraordinary and very important job. 

They are able to take people very quickly and deeply to where they need to go, and I think that is why also a lot of people see the appeal of coaching sometimes versus therapy, where we operate at different times and cover different needs. I like to tell people every successful person out there, whether in sports, in politics, or in business, has worked with a coach at one point or another, and there is a reason for that. 

Shawn: If they are successful. 

Antonia Medeiros: Yes, absolutely. 

Shawn: I was surprised many years ago to learn Madonna had a voice coach, and I thought, why would she need a voice coach? 

Antonia Medeiros: We all need to improve and grow in our craft, and whether your craft is trying to be a human, a happy human being, or whether your craft is being an international singer, it is the same. 

Shawn: I have wondered then what is the real difference or the essence, because in sports we have athletes that go through, maybe they are Olympians or they have won the Stanley Cup 15 times, or they have done some huge accomplishment in their career as an athlete. Then they become coaches to get others up to that point or to exceed them. 

Is that like, if somebody is hiring a coach, do they need to find somebody who has done what they want, done it better, and hire them? Or is there a different aspect that coaching brings? 

Antonia Medeiros: I think there is a different aspect that coaching brings, and it can be a combination, because in what you are talking about there is also a mentoring part. Not all coaches are mentors. You have the coaches who have had the experience, and it depends on the field that they are working in. 

Your example is a very good example: they end up coaching other people because also I think there is something about working with others on something that you have mastered yourself. In the space of coaching in the traditional sense, not sports coaching but personal coaching, the coach disappears. The coach is there for the client; it is never about the coach and their experience in whatever the client is going through. 

It is always about the client. Our job is to focus on the client and help them and guide them through thought-provoking questions to really get them to where they want to go. Normally, yes, they want to improve, and business coaches, for example, have had a lot of experience in the world of business, and that is useful. It depends on their specialty, and it depends what the clients are looking for. 

I really think that is essential to understand. Coaches are not people who are going to tell you what to do; that is not their job. A coach is there to listen and to get you where you need to go. Their job is to ask you the right questions and try to see where the blockages might happen, the mindsets that are not okay, or maybe habits that you have that are holding you back, and to try to guide you to where you need to understand your limitations. 

It is really not about telling other people what to do. In the world of sports sometimes coaches do tell other people what to do because it is a little bit different. When it comes to personal development, the client always knows better who they are than the coach, right? The coach is really there just to guide and shift perspectives. 

So it is never supposed to be about the coach. It does not matter what their experience is. What matters is their ability to take the clients where they need to go and where they want to go. 

Shawn: We have then two very different practices, shall we say, but we give them the same name, which can cause that confusion. 

Antonia Medeiros: Absolutely. What is very interesting, and I will give you an example of what you are talking about, is that I have seen in my practice people who have been very successful, for example in sports or in business, who really reached the top of where they wanted to be, their financial goal, and so on. They get on top of the mountain and then all of a sudden they are lost and confused. 

Everything they have dedicated their life to, they have achieved now, and then what is next? That is usually when somebody like me will come in, somebody who can take them to the next chapter. When you have been doing the same thing for 40 years and focused your whole entire life on a goal, it is daunting when you reach that goal. 

You have to redefine yourself completely, right? It is a major life transition where everything you have been doing for 40 years you do not need to do anymore because you have reached your goal. So what is next? The blank space and redefinition of yourself after this is where people like me come in for that transformative process, for example. 

Shawn: That is fascinating. So how do we achieve that transformation? Or maybe similar to that would be, that is for people at the top of their game and they are successful. What about people who have gone through those 40 years and they feel like failures, or they are just not there, and they think, I do not need a coach because I am not at this height, but I am just struggling to make it through every day? 

Antonia Medeiros: This is the most common scenario. I see this all the time: people who get to a point where they are indeed deeply unsatisfied with their life. That is where my area of expertise is, because I think sometimes people live their life through a recipe of what they think success looks like. That recipe is a combination of things. 

I have had many clients who realize in their forties that they have been trying to live up to their parents’ expectations or what their parents told them success looked like, or what they grew up with in their environment. That is holding them back because in reality it does not fit who they are. They are trying to push a square into a round hole, and it comes a moment where it does not work. 

My job is to come in and really strip things down. First of all, I help people understand that what they are feeling and experiencing is normal and it is healthy. We tend to think about these things as problematic, but they are just messages and signs that you need to listen to that whatever you are doing is not working for you anymore. 

It was working before, and maybe it gave you some form of satisfaction, but it is okay to say that now it does not work anymore. So how do I do this next? What do I need? What do I want? What does success look like for me? 

We see this in pivotal life transitions like getting divorced, getting laid off, becoming a parent, or midlife. We were talking about how it can be hormonal changes, it can be mindset change, what we commonly call a midlife crisis. I hate that term because I think it is always a positive thing. 

As coaches, what do we do? We really create a space where people can just pause and think. How many times in our lives do we have the opportunity of thinking and taking the time to think? We are always in our routine and catching up with the next thing and running after time. 

The first thing is that coaching is a space where people pause, they think, and they can brainstorm with somebody on fundamental questions about who they are and who they want to be. Then we set plans and action steps that are designed by the client. The client is the one who decides, “This is where I want to go; why is this where I want to go?” 

We try to answer all these questions and then decide what is one small thing that they are going to do. For everyday people sometimes it is small steps, and this whole idea that we need to do big radical changes straight away is a fallacy. It does not work like that. 

You need to do small things regularly, and that is going to create the momentum that you need to believe that you can change. You can change your life. You can change who you are. You are in charge of your time and of finding joy in small things. 

Shawn: So what becomes the commitment? Somebody feels stuck, then what? Will it take the commitment of time? What do they need to give up or put themselves through? 

Antonia Medeiros: I think it depends on what is going on. Our job as coaches is to create sustainable change; we do not want quick fixes, because quick fixes are temporary fixes. It is like when you are a plumber: you do not fix a leak with a bandage. You do the job properly so that you never have to see that leak again. 

It is the same thing in coaching. For some people it is quicker than for others. I really love working at least six months with people because I find that is usually a good time to navigate the high of the novelty of, “Oh my God, I can do this,” and the lows. 

We work through how to pick ourselves up and navigate the moments where we have less energy and less desire, and where we start having all these thoughts about why this is stupid and we revert back to old habits that are not good anymore. I think a minimum of six months is good, meeting once or twice a month, because you need to let things sit. 

With time I think there is a lot of power in slowing down. We live so fast. Everything has to be quick, but in these personal transformations there is a lot of value in slowing down. Even if it is just that hour that you spend with your coach where you pause everything, cut down all distractions, and just think about yourself, it has value. 

I always like to tell people if I do my job well, my clients will not need me anymore. My job is about freeing people; it is not about creating a relationship where they are stuck with me forever. I want people to have tools to be independent and just to come back to me whenever they need it. That for me is my measure of success. 

Shawn: Not repeat business. 

Antonia Medeiros: But I have clients who meet with me anyway, 30 minutes once a month, just because they like the check-in. They like me to just make sure, “How about this? What about this? What did you do about this?” because they need accountability. Once in a while something bigger happens, so we take a few extra sessions. 

In terms of repeated business, it is indeed not the best business model in that people are not going to stay with me forever, but that is what gives me pleasure and joy. It makes me think that I do my job well when people are successful, autonomous, and they write to me and say, “That was fantastic, and I have done all of these things since, and it made a huge difference.” 

Shawn: How does coaching differ from using a therapist? 

Antonia Medeiros: Excellent question because that is a very common question. When we train as coaches, we are taught how to identify when whatever our client is going through does not belong to the world of coaching but belongs to the world of therapy. To simplify things, we often say that therapy really is about traumatic experiences. 

It is about diving into the past, sometimes childhood. On occasion in coaching we do talk about the past, especially if it is about repeated patterns and things like that, but that is where therapy comes in. Anything to do with trauma is in the field of therapy; it is not in the field of coaching. 

So we as coaches need to be very clear on our boundaries, and this is why for me it is important to partner with therapists. I like to know that I can send my clients to colleagues of mine who will address specific things so that we can continue working together. That is very important. 

What does happen sometimes is I have clients who have been in therapy for a long time and who are fed up with therapy because they feel that they are not getting anywhere. They are getting stuck too much in the past and not feeling like they are moving forward. This has happened many times where people come to me and say, “I have done this. I want more action steps.” 

I think that is why there are a lot of therapists today who use coaching tools in their practices, because it helps clients really get that momentum and that sense of action and moving forward. I think the other big difference is also a financial difference, in that often, not always, therapy is covered by insurance and coaching is not. 

Coaching remains a luxury for many because government and insurance do not pay for that. Now there are ways around that that I think might be interesting to talk about. If you are a business owner, hiring a coach is part of expenses; you can count it under expenses or training. 

We are seeing more and more companies who have inside the health insurance for their employees a budget of a certain amount of money that people can use for whatever they want, such as yoga classes or personal coaching or anything like that. That is also a way to have some of it covered. I have seen employees, even though they were hiring me personally, go to their employer and say, “I am hiring a coach to improve these things that will benefit me also as an employee.” 

I have seen organizations sometimes say, “Sure, I will cover some of it,” because we have leaders out there who are keen on their employees working on themselves. It just has an impact on everything, including their happiness and sense of purpose at work. There are ways around it. 

I think the most important thing to remember, when people say, “Coaching is not cheap,” is that I like to ask, how much is it really costing you not to invest in a coach and not to take care of those things that are holding you back? Your time is precious. It can all be over very quickly, and spending a whole lifetime dragging things that you do not have to is costly. 

It is our duty as humans to be happy, not all the time, but to have the tools to navigate the highs and the lows so we can enjoy everything we have. That is maybe another way to think about cost and coaching. 

Shawn: And if they are stuck or held back, they may view it as a cost, but it could give them an advantage that gets them out of that and into a better situation. 

Antonia Medeiros: Absolutely. Of course I am biased, but it is money well invested. Any money that you invest in your own personal growth and development as a human being and as a business owner is money well spent, for sure. 

If with my clients it does not work out, if the relationship does not work out, if people are feeling that they are stalling, and after trying we see it is not moving, then it is okay to stop and say, “This is not working.” 

Shawn: What if people just do not know, or they think, “It is something in the past; where do I start?” 

Antonia Medeiros: Usually I am pretty good at identifying that. I am very good with patterns; that is something that I have developed in my job. It is like a puzzle, all those pieces that you think are not together and do not make sense. 

The beauty of being outside of the box is that you can think outside of the box and really help somebody see things. You can suggest, you can say, “Have you thought about this?” You ask questions in coaching sessions, and then people start thinking and putting things together. 

We use many tools. We can use paper, we can use visual exercises. Sometimes just putting things on a piece of paper in front of someone is powerful. People say, “Oh my God, I never saw it like that. It all makes sense. It is all intertwined.” 

Then it is easy to go from there to say, “Maybe that is a traumatic experience from your childhood. Here is the name of an amazing therapist who is going to help you with that,” and then we can focus on these other pieces, for example. 

Shawn: Let us touch on confidentiality or privacy, because a concern that I would have dealing with somebody local, a therapist or a coach, is that I get into the deep core, or somebody gets into the deep core of the issues, and they could be concerned about word spreading. It might damage my reputation. 

Is this person going to go to my neighbors or whoever it is in the community and start to say, “You have to stay away from him, he is crazy, he has real problems,” or, “He is such a…” and you insert your own self-limiting belief in there, and that just gets reinforced. Do I need to go looking on the other side of the world to find a coach? 

Antonia Medeiros: No. That is a fundamental piece of the relationship that we have with our clients; it is confidentiality. We are bound by confidentiality. Anything that is talked about inside the space of the conversation, inside the session, remains between us. 

That is fundamental because you need to be able to feel safe, and if you do not create that sense of safety for people, that they can be comfortable to talk about whatever they need to talk about, it is terrible. People are never going to be able to open up. 

It is up to the client, because I have clients who do not like to talk about personal things and want a conversation that is very business-orientated and about operations and things like that. For some of them it is a combination of both. Confidentiality is so fundamental. 

It even applies if I am hired by an organization, for example. This has happened. Company X hires me to work with a manager or a director who is having challenges, let us say communicating with their staff or managing their time, or whatever. This happens. 

The leader will hire me and explain to me the things that they want me to work on, and then I will work with that manager. We have deep conversations, sometimes very personal conversations about things that might be affecting their job. We talk about whatever we need to talk about. 

I still cannot tell the leader the conversations that we are having about important stuff. That confidentiality is fundamental, and I am very clear about that when I get hired. What I can do with the leader, and usually I do it in agreement with the client, is we measure progress. 

That is why one of the questions I always ask the leaders who hire me is, “How are you going to measure progress? What difference do you want to see in your employee over time?” These are the conversations we can have. 

We can ask, “What are you seeing? What are the positive changes?” Have you noticed how James now is handling his calendar better and being on time at his meetings? These things are measures of progress. 

If it is something like, “Have you noticed how he addresses his employees in a different way?” we can talk at that level. We do not have to divulge any of the confidential stuff. James might be going through a divorce and feeling low self-esteem and imposter syndrome; I do not have to talk about any of that. 

When somebody hires me, they are not going to hire me because James has low self-esteem. They are going to hire me because, as an employer, they want to see progress with whatever responsibilities and duties he has. It is easy to navigate, and it is very important for me to preserve that confidentiality while respecting the leader’s demands. 

Sometimes those demands are unreasonable, and then I have to have this uncomfortable conversation of saying, “How are you supporting your employee here in this matter? It cannot just be one-sided.” That is a whole other thing. But when it comes to confidentiality, it is a fundamental piece of the puzzle. 

Shawn: Is that part of the ethics of the ICF? 

Antonia Medeiros: Yes. The ICF has templates of confidentiality agreements available to coaches because it is so important. 

Shawn: And that is also why it would be good to have a coach who is certified. 

Antonia Medeiros: Absolutely. Either certified through the ICF or certified through an organization that is recognized by the ICF; you can have both. Experience is everything, and I have no problem sharing some of my clients’ references when I get hired by a company, for example. 

If they want to talk to some of my clients about their experience working with me, that is fine. Coming back to your question about confidentiality and the example you gave, like me going to a neighbor and saying, “You should not talk to so-and-so,” it is detrimental to the client but it is detrimental to me too. 

Can you imagine my reputation if I was not able to respect confidentiality? It is awful. Nobody would trust me, and that would be terrible. I would be devastated. It does not serve anybody. 

Shawn: You have secrets you carry to the grave kind of thing. 

Antonia Medeiros: I do, and it is an honor to have those secrets. When I talk about what I do, often I have clients who come and see me because they think that everybody else has it together. Social media does not help with that. 

You look and it seems everybody is so happy, and everybody has it all together, and they say, “Look at me, my life is a mess, and my relationship is a mess, I do not like myself,” and so on. I always tell people, you have no idea what happens behind people’s doors. You have no idea. 

Never assume anything because I can tell you firsthand that it is messy everywhere. Nobody has it together, and that is very reassuring. 

Shawn: Yes, that is reassuring. As we reflect and as our listeners reflect on their own situations. 

Antonia Medeiros: Exactly. 

Shawn: They also are good at hiding things, or we are good at putting a twist on something so it seems like it is good, but they are hiding. 

Antonia Medeiros: Absolutely. Keeping up appearances today has become so important. Social media is a perfect example of that. It is an infinite amount of people who all look like they have perfect lives, perfect houses, perfect relationships and bodies, and it is all appearance. 

It is all on the outside, and one might wonder, why do we need so badly to do all this hard work to make sure that nobody sees that we are just struggling? There is a lot of shame in going through a bit of a rough time, and that is very unfortunate. 

Shawn: It is the validation of others. 

Antonia Medeiros: Absolutely. It is external validation. I think that if we were able to connect with others sometimes and be a bit more vulnerable and say, “This is a bit messy,” even if we do it with humor, we would have so many deeper connections with others. 

We would feel less lonely, with less time pretending and more time connecting with others about our experiences and our challenges. 

Shawn: As a fan of science fiction and a Star Trek fan, they occasionally deal with species who are empathic or telepathic, and if we were all like that, it would be a vastly different world. 

Antonia Medeiros: Absolutely. Can you imagine? It would be very interesting. 

Shawn: As we encounter people, then we would know how you feel. We would not necessarily have to ask. It would certainly make dating faster. 

Antonia Medeiros: Yes, and it would stop dating people you should not be dating faster too. 

Shawn: That is right. Decades ago when smoking was a thing, there was a lighter that had a sticker on it, a cigarette lighter. It said, “If it is no, tell me now before I spend ten dollars on drinks.” That kind of thing. If we could understand and interpret how each other is feeling. 

Antonia Medeiros: Yes. 

Shawn: Can you tell people what happens in a session? If they have a thought, “Maybe Antonia can help me; what do I do now?” What happens when they actually meet you and they go through it? Do they sign anything? Do they sign a confidentiality agreement? Do they have to do something special, or how does it work? 

Antonia Medeiros: Usually the process is that when somebody is interested in my services, they will book a free consultation. This is a 30 to 45-minute conversation during which we just discuss and get to know each other. I explain a little bit about what I do, and it is the opportunity for me to try to identify what my client wants. 

What are the challenges? What has been their experience with exploring those challenges? What has worked, what has not worked? It gives me very quickly a sense of personality: can I work with this person? 

For them also, can they work with me? Do they like me? Do they trust me? They can ask questions about what happens during a session, and then we establish together what we are going to be focusing on should we work together. 

Usually after that I send them a summary so we are all clear that, if we work together, these are the things that we are going to be focusing on. Once we are in business, there is a contract that usually has a confidentiality clause in it and summarizes all the ins and outs of what my responsibilities are, what they can expect from me, and what I expect from them. 

It is usually really a lot about commitment, the commitment to do the work that they need to do to improve and to move forward, because I cannot do that for them. I can help them, but they still need to do the work. Then, usually, we have this overarching idea of what we are going to do and work on. 

In a session, we ask the client, “What do you want from our session today? What do you need the most, or what would be most helpful?” Sometimes they do not know what they want. Sometimes they arrive at a session and do not really know, and that is also an opportunity to explore because, as I always say, all roads lead to Rome. 

At the end of the session, we usually have narrowed it down very quickly to what the problem is and then try to create an action step. Sessions are a conversation. I ask questions, I challenge certain things, and based on that I follow the guidance of my client and try to shift perspectives and see where it is blocking. 

Usually, towards the end, the client commits to one, two, or three action steps that they are going to do to move things forward, things that they are going to change or habits they are going to implement. Every time we meet, we track and make sure that it is happening. 

Sometimes it is about being able to focus on the things that have worked. They can say, “This worked well, and this worked well,” so there is a momentum that is being created. There is also accountability in between sessions. 

Sometimes clients like me to text them. Some of them feel that once a week they are going to email me everything that they have done that week just for their own accountability. It varies, and I am always available in between sessions if they have questions, if something is not working, if there are good things or not so good things. 

We measure and track progress all throughout. Sometimes we go back to the beginning and ask, “Is that working for you?” because sometimes people come in and think they want to work on something, but that is not really the problem. It is something else, and that starts showing up in the sessions. 

It is okay to adjust things and ask, “Do you want to keep on exploring this, or do you think this would be more pertinent?” That is pretty much how it works. Sometimes it is brainstorming. Sometimes they come in and something has happened that is unrelated to what we are working on, and they say, “This has happened, and I feel I need to brainstorm on this,” and that is always interesting too. 

Shawn: What about people who are people-pleasers? Can they end up, not just people-pleasing, but pleasing the coach, giving the answers that they think you want to hear, not what they genuinely want to say? How do you handle that? 

Antonia Medeiros: I am pretty good at spotting that because a lot of people come to me because they have problems with saying no, people-pleasing, and boundary issues. That is a classic for many people. My job is always to make it about them; it is not about me, it is about them. 

I ask, “What do you want? What is good for you?” Sometimes the work is about them learning how to do that, learning how to ask, “What do I want, really?” The coach has to be as invisible and neutral as possible and has to always bring it back to the client. 

It is about them. I am at their service. 

Shawn: I did deal with one once, and that was part of the issue, that she would point out and ask and drill and drill and drill, and I would be resistant. Eventually it was, “Okay, I am paying the bill. I have to get on with my day. This is what you want to hear, so this is what I am saying,” and I did not get anything out of it. 

Antonia Medeiros: It is tough. People-pleasers sometimes do this their entire lives. It is really hard to be a people-pleaser. 

You have to relearn years of habits of putting everybody else before you. People-pleasers do not know anymore what they want and who they are sometimes. That discrepancy between being able to ask for what they need and putting other people’s needs first is very difficult, but it is solvable. 

Shawn: Yes, it is. That is good to know. Are there any situations that you will not take on, like substance abuse, suicide, or abusers? 

Antonia Medeiros: Yes. These are in the realm of therapy. Substance abuse is a very good example. Maybe I can work with people who are in recovery and who do not struggle with that currently, but if it is an ongoing problem, I cannot. 

I am not a recovery coach, and there are people who are experts in that. It is important, especially for big challenges such as that one, to go to an expert. I do not do that. It has also happened that I am just not comfortable coaching someone. 

I have become good at identifying very quickly who I can work with and who I cannot work with. I cannot work with people who do not want to change. Sometimes it has happened that people come to me and they do not realize that they are going to have to do the work. 

I am not going to do it for them. I can hold their hand, but if people are not ready to change or they do not want to do the work to change, they do not really want to change. They like things as they are. It is hard for me to work with people like that. 

Shawn: Is it possible they do not know that they do not want to change and that comes up later? 

Antonia Medeiros: It has never happened to me, but I know that it has happened to some of my colleagues. Usually, when people take the step and they call you and they commit and they invest, that is a good sign. Sometimes it still happens. 

It is rare, but it happens, and it is sad, because you have done all this work and then the client just stops. Usually, though, we are able to identify that very quickly. That is why we need professionals who are trained properly and certified and have experience, so they can very quickly see if they can help this person, and if this person can help themselves or not. 

Shawn: That is fascinating. One last question then, Antonia. How can people get ahold of you? 

Antonia Medeiros: Through my website, which is www.AntoniaMedeiros.com. I am also on LinkedIn. You can send me an email; my website has contact information there. That is the best place. You can also find me on Google, so I should be pretty easy to find.  

Shawn: We will also put you in the show notes. That will help. Thank you so much.  

Antonia Medeiros: Thank you. I enjoy our conversations so much. I always do. Thank you for having me.  

Shawn: Thank you for being here. My guest today has been Antonia Medeiros. Thank you for being here today. And that’s a wrap.  

Links

• Antonia Medeiros Life and Empowerment Coach: www.AntoniaMedeiros.com
• Antonia Medeiros on LinkedIn
• Lalmba Canada